Putting Away Super Woman

It's been a long time since I've written here. It's definitely time to start back up!
The picture above is not a good one. I was going to retake it in front of something else when I realized that the smile behind it goes along with the Wonder Woman and what it represented to me.
John gave me this Wonder Woman as a gift when I FINALLY graduated college. I had very good reasons for not having completed school until I was in my 30's. I think ultimately, there was this deep down desire to wait until it was the mot difficult time in life to do it. Heaven knows how much I LOVE to do everything the hard way. :)
So, Why Wonder Woman? It use to be my secret desire to be her. Only I wanted to be a modern super woman. A woman that did it all. A mom, involved in everything, a perfect wife with a perfect home, my year's supply of food storage, the perfect looking yard, awesome decoration (that I made myself), perfectly fulfilled callings (which I seem to Always have multiples of), a healthy family and well-fit body, etc. So, I lived my life trying to do and be "it all". And I always failed. And I was always discouraged and depressed. Especially when things didn't go the way I wanted them too.

My circumstances around finishing school and the gift of Wonder Woman:
I graduated from Weber State University (Ogden, UT) May 2006. John was deployed and Jakob was 10 weeks old. Jakob and I packed up our household goods had them moved across the country (we were station at Ft. drum, NY), I painted (had some friends come help) and unpacked the house. Because I had waited so long to finish school the graduation requirements had changed and I had an extra semester of classes I had to take in only a school year's worth of time. And, I wanted strait a's. I also didn't want to miss out on any of Jakob's babyhood. So, I never studied while he was awake. I got up at 4:00am every morning to study scriptures and school, I studied during his nap times and stayed up only until 10:00pm.  I also never studied on Sundays. (I got strait A's both semesters and graduated with honors). I also took on an exchange student for 2 weeks, sent John care packages once a week, remodeled some of the house when john came home for R&R, listed and sold the condo, packed up household goods and put into a storage unit and moved to a friends basement apartment, and I also exercised everyday.  I also moved us back to Nw York before John got home from his deployment and took on FRG leader for the end of the deployment. (I was the communication person between the military and spouses)  And of course, because I'm trying to be super woman, I didn't ask for much help.  I know, crazy, but if I had too much help then I wouldn't exactly be super woman, would I?

For way too many years I had this crazy idea of how I should be living my life and the reason the smily face in the picture goes well with it is because I also thought that I HAD to be happy about it all.
Well, I have finally learned my lesson!  This life is not meant for us to be perfect or perfect at everything we do.  being and doing "it all" doesn't make us any better of a person. It just makes us tired, worn down and discouraged. And I'm so done feeling those things! So, this last week when I dusted my shelf I looked at Wonder Woman and decided it was time to put her and that distorted way of thinking away. It's time to just do my best and be happy with what I do! It's time to rely more on HeavenlyFather and not so much on myself! There's no room for God's grace if I'm trying to do it all and then get mad when I can't.
Sometimes I look at my life and all the things I want (and some that I need) to accomplish or do. I look at who I want to become, as a wife, mother and person, and I get so overwhelmed.  But I know that I don't have to be perfect and I definitely don't have to do it all by myself.  I have the most influential, powerful and loving person to help me. My Heavenly Father!  He really can and really will, if I will just ask.