Sometimes Our Biggest Trials are the Most Faith Promoting

Lately, I seem to be living in the future, as if worrying about it now will change the events and make life easier.  But, it won't, and worrying about it only hurts me and those around me.  So, I've decided that I need to start having more faith in 'what is' and not worrying about 'what will become'.  

I've been working on this and it has helped me so much!  I was so panicked about the upcoming adoption (JUNE 4), the upcoming deployment, the upcoming birthing-without-husband, the upcoming how-am-I-going-to-take-care-of-4-kids-with-a-newborn while selling our house and packing up for a move-by myself, and the upcoming possibility of having to move with 5 kids alone.

It almost takes my breath away just writing it all down, especially as I think about all the little things that need to happen in between all those big events.  BUT! As I have prayed and prayed, gone to the temple and searched for comfort I have found it.  I don't feel so scared and panicked about the future because I am just going to focus on today.  And each day that I do that something comes up that helps me find peace in what's 'about' to unfold in my life.  

For example:

The other night at Relief Society we were sharing our favorite scriptures and talking about why it's our favorite.  Well, I don't really have a favorite right now...(didn't until that night).  I have a favorite chapter.  It's 2 Nephi 31.  It's my favorite for 2 reasons.  1. Because as a  missionary I memorized the entire chapter.  2. Because it helps us understand Jesus Christ and a part of the Gospel that we don't really talk a lot about, baptism.

Well, at this activity I was skimming through the chapter to see if there was a verse that I could share.  I came across a verse that seemed to fit the theme of the activity, Scripture study.  But as I shared it I realized how much it applied to my life right at that moment and is a scripture that I can rely on as I face my 'upcoming' challenges.  

The verse is 2 Nephi 31:20

"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.  Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."

To me, as I read this I am reading that if I press forward, having hope and faith in Christ and that He will help me, if I read my scriptures as part of that faith and if I serve those around me and not focus on my sorrows and challenges, then I will find strength to 'endure' and will feel peace and happiness and I will not feel alone in all those challenges, I will feel the love and presence of my Savior and those angels who surround me.

It's kind of sad that it takes big challenges to cause me to look to the Savior and focus my life on Him.  At the same time, I really am grateful for the wake-up call!  I need Him in my life and really need to focus more on Him, always, not just during times of trial.